Like every other night, I came home from work to watch Bigg Boss 11. I can’t miss it because it’s a part of my job. But I’m glad I did not miss tonight’s episode. And no, this is not an angry letter or a rant about any of the contestants. It’s beyond that. Vikas Gupta broke down in tonight’s episode after Hina Khan constantly mocked him for just being well-dressed. Vikas cried talking about how he has felt he is ugly throughout his life and he just dressed up to feel good about himself.
This entire scenario inside the house seemed more than familiar to me. I turned off the TV and carried on with my work when a friend pinged me to rant against Hina Khan. But the conversation moved on to something much bigger and more important. We’ve all, at one point in our lives, felt that we’re ugly and we know it’s the worst feeling in the world. That was when I realised why I could relate to Vikas’ meltdown or why I wasn’t too angry with Hina for how she made him feel. (ALSO READ: Bigg Boss 11: Gauahar Khan asks Vikas Gupta to stay strong after he got bullied by Hina Khan and Akash Dadlani)
Quoting my friend, Fatema Danyal, “I can’t stand to see anyone cry thinking they’re ugly. It’s the worst feeling ever and we’re our own worst enemies in this situation.” I, too, believed for a really long time that I’m ugly. Vikas is not alone in this fight to get over his insecurities and believe he is beautiful. A lot of us have been through it and most of us are still trying to fight it. Vikas’ meltdown has made us realise how important it is to feel good about yourself, to convince yourself that you are the best version of yourself.
I have had days when I would shut myself from people, not befriend anyone just because I felt I’m not pretty enough to be friends with them. Vikas’ meltdown brought all of those memories back. And no, it’s not a bad thing. It’s good to think of how far you’ve come in your life sometimes. Now when I’m having a bad day, I just put on my best clothes and my favourite lipstick just to feel good about myself. It’s the best way to make yourself feel better and this is exactly what Vikas did. The bullies will never understand how condescending it is but it’s really up to you to feel confident. Of course, friends also help a lot of times like Priyank Sharma did with Vikas. But to build that confidence is one difficult task. And Vikas, there are a lot of us fighting the same battles as you are, so know you’re not alone.
Fans, readers and everyone who has been through it, do write to us and tell us if this made any difference to you or if you, too, could relate to Vikas’ insecurities pertaining to his looks.